Mind of a Goddess

Betty was my personal healthcare provider for several months.  I was hesitant in hiring her because there was something about her I couldn’t explain or define that left me with an unsure feeling.  Eventually, I decided to go with her since I couldn’t explain it and I needed someone to help around the house.

Several (months/weeks/days?) after I hired her, the day arrived. We had developed a very gregarious, amiable relationship.  She was friendly and we would make small talk about family and current events.  She would arrive at 5:30 in the morning when it was still dark out, and one day she arrived wearing dark sunglasses.  My reporter’s intuition led me to ask her about them and she laughed it off, not answering.  I couldn’t let it go so I commented on the style of the glasses.  Then I asked her to open the shutters.  She said, “Why do you want the shutters opened its dark outside.”  I said, “Exactly why do you want the sunglasses on its dark outside.”

She laughs it off again. The reporter is still there trying to dig a little further.  I noticed it was getting close to time for her to leave. And I was still wondering about the glasses because I have never seen her wear glasses before and in trying to spark her into answering I asked her if her husband gave her a black eye.  She said no, laughing again.

 Then I saw water coming out from under the glasses from her eye.  I asked her again if her husband hit her.  She said no and that she only needed a minute.  I kept at her and she finally told me that she put crazy glue in her eyes.  Then she took off the glasses and when I saw it I wanted to run—her eyes were so ugly and bloodshot red. 

Then she explained she put the Crazy Glue in her eye.  She said that she wears contacts and she was cleaning her lenses and the solution was the same color as the Crazy Glue and she mistakenly cleaned her lenses with the glue.  She said when she put it in her eye she felt it was different, and when she went to put on the next lens she saw that she had put the Crazy Glue on the lens.  As she and her husband were trying to take it out they could not and she irritated her eye.  I started firing questions at her.  Her judgment was way off.  How did you even drive like that?  It blew my mind.  Why are you here, why aren’t you at the doctor’s?  Didn’t it hurt?  Can you move your eye? Does it itch?

Listening, I could not figure out how she could make a mistake like that.  So I fired Betty right there.  If she could make a mistake like that on herself I became scared about what kind of mistake she would make on me because she was not paying attention to what she was doing.  When she asked me why I fired her I made up a story, knowing that people do not like to hear the truth.   I made up a story about how I found someone else who would work for me for less.  Anyone can understand that.

 As I was lying in my bed thinking if she did that kind of thing to herself how could she care for another, what would she do to me?  Did she not see the severity of my situation?  I’m very vulnerable. I lay in this bed unable to move unable to take care of my most basic needs. I trust this lady with my life and this morning she shows me she can’t be trusted with her own life. God, knows I didn’t want to search for another care provider, but the more I thought about Betty putting Crazy Glue in her own eye, I knew I had made the right decision.  Good Help Is Hard To Find.

mindofagoddess